A lot of people who are attracted to my more positive and upbeat side are pushed away by my more serious and contemplative side…and of course I noticed – after years online and hundreds of thousands of feedback via twitter, facebook, youtube, blogTV, and email, I know this to be true.
There two separate crowds of fans I have – the ones that will like the short catchy things I say, and the others who will actually read a page long rant like this, or watch a 25 minute video….and….actually LIKE it! Though I won’t do this, I can tell you which one of my fans fall into which camp…my favorite fall into both (you guys are the ones I actually listen to when I see you comment lol)
I can show you hilarious examples of one comment saying “This is my least favorite video from you Aman, come on, stop with this stuff” and then the very next one saying “This is your best video yet!” Less than 24 hours ago I got a comment saying they didn’t like when I talked religion, and the very next saying they loved when I talked religion and wanted more.
To me, there are not two sides of myself at all! I cannot see happiness, productivity, self-help, positive thinking, and success without an equally clear appreciation for truth, virtue, and philosophy….I see no difference between science and religion….all I see is how everything connects into something universally true.
To me, the process of talking about sluts also helps me write a workout routine and vice versa. I see the patterns emerging from everything. Life to me is NOT a compartmentalized thing! But I feel like in order to excel online…scratch that – I “KNOW” that in order to excel online, or professionally, one has to have a pretty narrow focus and expertise – you have fitness gurus and you have political pundits – I, however, don’t want to limit myself, but I feel like the marketplace of people I am trying to reach naturally has always limited ME. People need simple so they can clearly identify with the message, people want to like AmanJohn if he’s the “motivational guy” if that changes, it’s like changing the name of a sports team people come to love – people form a part of who they are by what they identify with things like religions, celebrities, musicians, sports teams…and change or threat to, say, Christianity is therefore a threat to oneself…some people might think I’m the “intellectual guy” some people might just be confused and stay away. Despite this confusion, I WANT to offer people the experience they want without sacrificing all that I have to offer.
Sadly, this dilemma is just as salient in my personal “real” life.